The Power of Pain Points: Transforming Dissatisfaction into Action

Change is scary.

  It's human instinct to avoid change. Often times if we want to make a change for the better, things need to get tough. Change brings potential danger, which brings fear.

  Historically our fear of change stemmed from life threatening events. If we were to migrate to another land, there was a risk of danger, the unknown, and no guarantee it would be better.

  Today that fear tends to be less about physical survival, and more about mental and financial survival. We focus on stability and actively avoid failure. This shows true when it comes to new endeavors, causing us to not take action on improving our lives.

  When comfort takes hold in the basics of life, we're wired to stay there. Subconsciously we don't want to rock the boat. A vicious cycle happens when you live this kind of life. You're comfortable, but you still want more. It's in your DNA to strive for comfort. It means safety. If means stability.

It also means you're stuck…

  This applies to all areas of life. In order to gain success in my IT career, I had to leave my comfort zone. As time passed, I found myself questioning if I want to do this for the rest of my life. Do I like my job? I love my job, my co-workers, and even my supervisor. At times I feel that I'm contributing to something larger than myself.

  What more could a guy ask for?

  Early on I did feel like maybe this is the best career for me. It can be satisfying, kept me engaged, and even felt rewarding. But over time something felt like it was missing. I wanted something more.

  The question I found that I should have been asking myself is, "Where is my heart pulling me?"

  How many of you felt this way? How often have you felt like there is something more to life, but never felt like you could do something about it?

  This is why adding pain to your life will help for change. I don't mean physical pain either. I'm referring to mental pain. The pain that comes from understanding you aren't doing enough with your life, and you need to do something about it NOW. The pain that comes when you realize you've spent years building someone else's dream, and not your own…

  How do we genuinely feel this pain?

  It all comes to figuring out your pain points, then allowing yourself to emotionally feel the pain. At it's core, a pain point is any problem, frustration, or unmet need. The gap between where you are and where you want to be.

  These could be as basic as the want to avoid to stub your toe. On the intermediate level, I already gave one of my personal examples above, "The pain that comes when you realize you've spent too much of your life building someone else's dream, and not your own." It's a discomfort or dissatisfaction you feel when life doesn't align with your aspirations. The existential levels arise from a perceived lack of meaning, purpose, or fulfillment in one's life.

  Pain points are a powerful catalyst for personal growth.

  I found that understanding my pain points helped me take the steps for change. I don't like focusing on negatives in my life, but knowing what I don't want helped me get off my ass and work towards something new.

  This has been a game changer. There were many days where I'd find myself sitting on the recliner, watching TV, after work. In those moments, I'd focus on my pain points. Shortly after, I'd be taking action chasing my dreams.

  If you're feeling unsatisfied or the urge to run from the pain, use those feelings as power signals. They are telling you that a change is needed. Use them as a compass pointing you in the direction that matters to only you.

  Circling back to how to genuinely feel the pain, I approach this by taking at least one pain point. In this example, I'm using the one above about building someone else's dream. Now I extrapolate how I'd feel if I stayed my career without at least trying to make a change. Doing the same thing for at least another twenty five years until retirement. All the random issues, outages, complaints, and disappointments.

  It's honestly depressing just thinking about it.

  Next I think about how my future self would feel in those twenty five years with all of this built up. The feeling of disappointment for having done nothing for my dreams. Nothing for my hope. Nothing for my spirit. It just stacks up…

  It's time to transform that negative energy into positive motivational energy. That's the key. Once you do this, the motivation to take those steps is now amplified. The only thing left to do is take action. Move off the recliner, couch, or where ever you are, and build towards something better for YOU.

  Change doesn't happen overnight.

  Motivation is temporary. Discipline and the love of what your building will be what keeps you going. When you feel yourself slowing down, that's when you need to bring this tool back out of your tool belt. It will help you regain focus.

Questions you can ask yourself:

• What am I truly missing in my life?

• What am I tolerating that I shouldn't be?

• What small step can I take today to move towards a more fulfilling life?

If you have the same personality traits I have, I genuinely suggest giving this a try.

Good luck friends, and let me know if this works for you too.